when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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