He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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