So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So I just went to clothing optional bar
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I see more hoeing in ur future
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