all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
