I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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