yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
