apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
