K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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