Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
