Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
