The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
