My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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