That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
