If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
