And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
