Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
