Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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