Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
