There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
