a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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