i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
