You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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