Tell her she can't have a vagina
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
