I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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