I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
