cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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