I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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