I must be too annoying 4 u.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
