As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize