Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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