my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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