I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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