Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize