She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
