I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
