I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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