you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I know her cup size but not her name....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
