Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
