you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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