My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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