he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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