I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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