He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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