he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
