she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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