why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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