even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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