I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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