Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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