I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
