I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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