Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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