Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
