Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
