Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
