NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
