i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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