if you like me you must not know who I am
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
