Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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