yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
