haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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