you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
