Jerry, you need to find god
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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