Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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