Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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