so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
